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friends only

i decided to make my lj friends only now. cause. well, i don't know.


i'm having a war with my face. it's either really dry or really oily. right now it's smooth and everything but sometimes that just means it's oily.

i played with puppies the other day! a corgi puppy. she chewed on my purse.

i talked to brian the other day. he told me about how he gained 50 pounds and is going into the army in 3 months. and then he wanted me to come over and have sex with him. and he's like "i'm going to bed but i'll leave the door open and you can just come in and shake me awake" needless to say, i didn't go. and bobby would have gotten mad. but i can't date bobby. because he said he tried dating 4 people out of his state and it didn't work. so of course, he's got to cut it off with me. cause i can never be considered for anyone.


more awesomeness from men

so after my fiasco with ugly girl dater, i decided to talk to this other kid spencer who wanted to hang out with me. and he seemed pretty chill and stuff. so the other day i chilled with him and we watched a movie and it was pretty chill. i thought afterward he wasn't gonna talk to me anymore but he did. so i tried to find him on facebook. because i knew what school he went to. so i was pretty sure i found him, like 99.9% sure. his last name is like vinc...asdfghkkljla or something. and he was friends with this girl amy whom i work with. yeah. so i didn't add him but i asked him what his last name was just so i was sure it was him. and he said his last name was bush. not vinc...asdfghkkljla whatever. and i'm like that's weird. he had told me he lived on some road near friendly's. so i reverse addressed the road and found that a spencer vinc...asdfghkkljla whatever lived on that road and not a spencer bush. so i'm like wtf is this shit. i sent amy a message asking if he was legit. so i went to bed and then i woke up and amy had sent me a message and she's like, "yeah he's nice but he's getting married." so i'm like WTF. yeah. so i texted him and was like "uhhh is there something you aren't telling me???" and he's all, "yeahhhhhh, i don't really want a relationship, i just wanted to talk to someone...i'm sorry" blahblahblah. and so i'm like "and...you have a girlfriend?" and he says, "yes" and then i said, "and you're engaged?" and he says "yes". i'm like AWESOME. and he's like "i don't know why i did it i'm a jerk" and i'm like "well, i think you need to have a chat with your fiancee" hahah. i didn't know whether to be mad or laugh. it was both. and he's only like 20. so obviously getting married isn't a good choice. and it was funny though because when he came over here i noticed he had a ring on his left ring finger. and i was like "oh...well he went to bible school he is probably being abstinent." but then he had mentioned that he had had sex before. so i was confused. BAHAHA. men. amy told me he has cheated on all of his girlfriends. so i was like WELL THANK GOD I DECIDED TO SEARCH HIM BEFORE I DID ANYTHING. not going to pull a brian again. okay so that was the awesomeness that was douche #57435943593.

so i decided that i am not going to date anyone living in connecticut. ugly girl dater wasn't even from connecticut! he lives in new york. god.

of course there is bobby. but where does he live? oh, you know, 16 hours away.

i don't know where my mom is but i'm hungry and fat and want a pumpkin spice gelati from rita's.

i'm trying to keep myself informed about rob going to canada to film. because i could actually get there if i really wanted to. and get into sleezy bars. that he loves. cause he's sleezy. heheheheh.


so i think i found desperate dude's new girlfriend.
let me just say...no, i don't really have anything to say. let me just laugh instead.

I guess

it's a bad idea to trash talk guys.
not that i was interested in him but i was interested in seeing if he was decent.
apparently not!
he wanted to hang out with me on sunday and i had to work. i told him this on saturday. apparently while i was telling him this, he met somebody else and "instantly clicked".
he didn't tell me about it until i confronted him. typical.
it's just shitty that he had this whole thing going with me and seemed extremely interested and i don't understand how you instantly click with somebody else unless you're just desperate. or maybe it's because i never instantly click with somebody.

bobby was M.I.A. for a while, i get worried about him but then he talked to me today and it made me feel a little bit better. and then i remembered he lives in michigan.

and how about rob? he's snowed in over in london. bah.

psh, weird men


why can't they be cute and smoldering and british and robert pattinson-like?

i'm really shallow.

oh, funny convo with a waitress at friendly's:

*asking my mom* would you like some coffee?
*mom* okay
*waitress asking me* would you like some...oh wait, you're too young to be liking coffee.


dyed my hair

unfortunately the bleaching process left part of my bangs and strands of my hair pinkish colored. i dyed it blond and the bottom is a lovely blond color but at the top it kind of looks like a got a pink cupcake dropped on me or something.
hmm...i suppose after some deep conditioning, in about 2 weeks or so i dye it again.
OR i could get lowlights where the pink parts are...so i don't fry my whole head. hmm..

my throat is killing me now cause i went to take my pills and choked one back up.

and currently i am watching a spider documentry. WHY? i don't know. i'm extremely arachnophobic so...i'm just good with handling my fears? no, i start to convulse when i see really ugly spiders.

sexy vampire robert pattinson

umm...brian is online.
i'm eyeing his screen name.
this is a semi big deal because 1. i thought he disappeared off the face of the planet and 2. he usually had me blocked.
well i doubt he is awake at this time so i shall not talk to him anyway. i probably wouldn't talk to him anyway because he might yell at me or well, that's all he could really do. or it will be his girlfriend on it secretly spying on him and she'll be like OMFG WHO ARE YOU?!


today i played guitar hero and ddr because ashley brought hers over. she has the drumset for guitar hero and well, i suck at the drumset.

my mom is starting catsitting for this fluffy cute kitty named blossom whom i've never met. i am excited to see her.

i'm looking at rpattz pics. i haven't used that name for him ever. but his name is too long.

i'm also listening to my old mix cds which is quite enjoyable. they're funny. because they were from when i was like 15. and i was funny when i was 15.

well now i'm going to get back to trying to get dates. kbye.

blah de dah

i feel yucky right now. it might be because i have my period. in case you were wondering.

i ranted on myspace about being mistaken for 14. i really wish i looked older than what i really am than younger. i suppose when i am older, i will want the exact opposite. but it might be because of my mom who also looks way younger than her age. like one time when i was younger, she was in her 30s and got into an amusement park for 16. bahah.

but for real, i went to the dentist a few months ago and it was a new dentist i was going to. the dental assistant was like "so how old are you...13, 14?" i'm like...seriously? then i went to the orthodontist and was asked if i was in high school yet. i'm like, dude...i'm done with high school...technically. my mom's boyfriend's niece who is maybe in her 30s thought i was 15. one time when i was working, this lady was having a conversation with me and was going to say something about me having kids and was like "oh wait, you're way too young to be having kids." and i'm like, "not really. i'm 19." and she's like "oooh i thought you way younger than that." and then at the doctors once, i was being weighed and she assumed i was 15. and then frequently i get asked about what grade i am in. like i'm supposed to be a junior or something. wtf is that. i don't think i look young at all. i just look my age. i'm not short. i'm taller than my friends who supposedly look older than me. my boobs aren't too small. maybe my voice sounds young? i have no idea. whatever. i'm actually getting a state ID soon so i can actually prove i am of age. i'm just hoping i look 21 when i turn 21.

in other news, i got my harry potter dvd in today. i swooned over bob. he was so adorable. i really didn't notice him back then. i found out who was playing cedric early on, because i was really into it at the time, but i didn't really care. cedric wasn't really important. lol. sorry cedric.

i am reading the perks of being a wallflower again. in one part charlie says that he writes how he talks and that's exactly what i do. only when i am talking i usually use a lot of contractions and say "what the fuck" a lot more. oh well.

right now i am probably going to go work on my grocery list for my veggie diet i'm starting around the last week of january.

work on friday. booooo.

ho hum

so i've been feeling really old lately. kind of.
kids in grades below me...their younger brothers and sisters are getting facebooks now. and it's like WTF when i knew them they weren't even in kindergarten! when i was in 1st, 2nd, 3rd grade... i knew maybe a few kids who had younger brothers and sisters that were babies and they're freaking in high school now. wtf is that. i feel old. and then you get some people in your grade you used to know who had annoying younger brothers or whatever and they're like freshman or sophomores now or whatever and they're hot and you don't want to admit it because you feel like a pedo. but it's true.

but one thing is most definitely clear out of all this:
bobby boy is still goooorgeousssss!!!!

yeahhhh babyyyy.

in other news, most of my things i ordered online have come in. i got my eyeliner...that's okay i guess. i got my free sephora samples. one of them was the philosophy microdermabrasion thing. i used it tonight and my skin is really soft. i also used fresh soy cream moisturizer afterwards because it made my skin dry...but i'm afraid it wasn't the right time of the month to use facial moisturizer because i am getting my period tomorrow and have a pimple that i probably just exacerbated by using it. oh well. my face is just like a period diary. i always get one big pimple each period and it scars. so i can be like, "oh yeah, this pimple scar? period of december 2008" >.<

i also got baby grace by philosophy which smells reallyyyy good and nice.

my forever21 things came in. i like my striped turtleneck. i was really excited about my knit pants that looked exactly like skinny jeans but were actually stretchy but they have a snap button and i'm too fat to get it to snap and stay. but if i don't snap it, you can't really tell. my mom tried them on and they fit. i got mad. and she's like "well, work to fit in them" and i'm like, "oh yeah, work to fit in size large stretchy pants" >.< so i guess i'll have to.

after that my mom and i decided to exercise. i decided that instead of running around the block and being freezing (can't afford a gym membership to do this) i would just spazzily (i'm betting this isn't a word) dance around the living room and work up a sweat. so that's what i do. i just jog in place and flail my arms around and dance for a while. it definitely is tiring. then i do some leg lifts and sit ups. and whatever else i feel like doing. i think it would be a really good idea to be a vegetarian again. i know if i did it before then i could do it now. my mom hated me having a veggie diet though. whatever, she can deal...or do it with me. she doesn't care for meat, either. my mom and i were craving a steak the other day but probably because we were PMSing but i decided that we are going to go have a big steak and then i will stop eating meat. and i want to cook my own food and make good meals instead of just living on yogurt and veggie tacos for my whole life. so that is my goal. woooooo!!!